slave VS sub
In the BDSM lifestyle there are largely three different
types of submissives, and when speaking to them, they will tell you with pride
which they are and why. I will give you here some description of those types
but before I do so I would like to make clear something regarding my BDSM
World. Most will say a slave in comparison to a sub is mostly a female without
opinion, she is only to do as her Master desires and in some cases without
limits. I argue there is anyone without opinion, desires and much more I do not
accept any reference to NO limits. In my way of thinking, limits are always
present and even more, a Master’s limits are actually defined by His slave/sub
limits but this is a concept I will analyse in some other post of mine. Keep in
mind that though i usually like to mention my girl as a slave I am well aware
that a slave goes with a Master when a sub goes with a Dom.
I provide you with two different copies that i find really
interesting and in () i include my own personal comments
Submissive (sub) – As a sub you submit to your Dom, you give
up control for long periods of time. However you have your opinions and your
choices and you can still make them. Say you do the dishes and pay the bills,
these things usually are still under your control. It changes only during set
times and parameters. There is also the thought of the “power balance” between
dominant and submissive. Meaning that in a submissive role although you give up
the control the power is really still 50/50 just in a different setting and
under more intense circumstances. Sex is usually a large part of this
relationship and mostly where the submission enters in. Now don’t get me wrong
the intensity is still strong and the punishments and pain are real and
overwhelming however you have more of an option to stop and this doesn’t spill
over into the everyday that much.
Slave – As a slave control is given up completely. The power
balance is completely tipped in the Dominants direction. However keep in mind
this is a choice the slave makes not something she/he was made to do. Slaves
usually are slaves 24/7 (as I explained personally I do not believe there is
part-time or 24/7. Those in BDSM lifestyle are always part of this as it is a
way of life, a way of philosophy and not something we take a break out of it.
Of course, if one anticipates BDSM as it appears on porn movies, then is hard
to understand what i am talking about). They may work but when they get home
there is no distinction from normal day to a BDSM day, that person is always a
slave from the day they ask for that. As a slave sex is still very real and
alive however not always the goal and not needed for the Dominant and slave to
be in that persona. As a slave the lifestyle is usually (I disagree on that
“usually” and i would say the word might fit better) more intense in pain,
humiliation and just pure pleasure (It is always about pleasure. Even when it
does not involve any sexual act pleasure to serve and pleasure to control is
there. I would say instead that in a Master/slave relationship is easier to
explore the darker desires of our soul. Talk, accept, admit, explore and find
out more about fetishes and needs that usually most people are afraid to even
speak off) . Something to remember however is that as a slave this does not
mean if the Dominant asks you to break the law or hurt yourself that you should
obey on a whim. If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against the
law or against your moral values than he or she is not a true dominant.
(additionally how far the Master will go, how much He will push his slave’s
limits and what practices He will use are pre-discussed, agreed and in event no
matter how confident the slave is a safe word should be agreed for any
situation the slave would like to stop what is going on. The more a Master and
a slave are honest and open with each other the better it is to understand each
others needs and what should they do at time. Honesty, communication and trust
are essential and clearly time in order to progress and enjoy more such a
relationship).
(This last one is something should not be practised by the
unexperienced, never for long periods of time and it has nothing to do with
puppy play or other similar sexual fetishes.)
Pet – This hasn’t always been a classification of a
submissive person and is still controversial in some circles. A pet is more on
the side of a slave except for one large difference, sex does not have to be
involved. In many cases it is not. If you have become a pet it is to give up
yourself and obey, you gain pleasure from the control and the obeying not from
sexual play. There can be play but it is rare in this kind of lifestyle. This
submission is one of the most dangerous because you can lose yourself mentally
because you so rarely have thoughts of your own, you usually do not work and
although you may discuss things with your Dominant he is last say in all
things.
Ultimately the deeper you go into submission the stronger
you have to be which of course is peculiar since you have to give up more of your
control with each level. But you have to be very sure of yourself to give up
every ounce of control and thought. Taking each step is serious and should
never be taken light by the Dominant and submissive, especially if you want to
remain safe, sane, and consensual.
Another comparison (from the blog of the Dungeon
Master) between a slave and a submissive
is the following
slave (BDSM) — is a term often used in BDSM to connote a
specific form of submissive. A sexual roleplay or consensual slave could also
be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case. Connotatively it
refers to highly committed domination and submission (commonly abbreviated as
D/s) relationships, as a person who has surrendered their personal property and
freedoms to another, who has become the property or chattel of their owner(s).
This term is widely used, as it has a certain self-affirming weight. Some
practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of
submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see
the difference as one in kind, not in degree. In particular, some slaves do not
have a naturally submissive personality, but simply choose to surrender their
will and volition to another (The are more than a few of examples of
individuals who are in a decision maker position at their professional life but
once they get back home they just put on their collar and surrender their will)
It should be noted that the Owner/slave relationship is
entered into on a strictly consensual basis, without the legal force of
historical or modern non-consensual slavery. It is also worth mentioning that
the laws of all countries (for example the Thirteenth Amendment to the United
States Constitution) strictly forbid the practice of slavery.
Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the
Owner/slave relationship, such as wearing the owner’s collar, being registered
in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by
the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some
type. Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in
explicit detail, but these have no legal weight and are therefore not intended
to be used in any court of law.
In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract,
many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring
ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The
slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be an
actual piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that
symbolizes their slavery. These collars are generally never removed unless or
until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves exchange a formal
collar for a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one in work and vanilla
situations.
There is considerable debate over the exact definition of
the word “slave” as it pertains to BDSM. Many people believe that you are a
slave if you consider yourself one, whilst others believe one must be in the
emotional state of Total Power Exchange or Internal Enslavement for the term to
apply.
There are differences of opinion about whether one needs to
be currently owned to be identified as a slave. Many in the Master/slave
community do not feel that ownership is a requirement.
submission/submissive (BDSM) — (also known as D&s, Ds or
D/s) is a set of behaviours, customs and rituals relating to the giving and
accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle
context. D/s is often referred to as the “mental” side of BDSM. Physical
contact is not a necessity, and can even be conducted anonymously over
telephone, email or (more recently) instant messaging services. In other cases
it can be intensely physical, sometimes traversing into sadomasochism. In D/s,
one takes pleasure or erotic enjoyment out of either dominating or being
dominated. Those who take the superior position are called Dominants, Doms
(male) or Dommes (female), while those who take the subordinate position are
called subs or submissives (male or female).
A switch is an individual who
plays in either role (I would accept the term switch only for those who see BDSM
as a sexual play not a real lifestyle. As explained before in my opinion there
are no switches as sooner or later the one side will prevail over the other).
Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a
session. Submissives generally outnumber Dominants, with male subs outnumbering
Dommes by the widest margin, often three to one or more. “Dominatrix” is a term
usually reserved for a female professional dominant who dominates others for
pay.
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