In society, we are dependent on the systems which are in
place and which sustain our lives - systems which give order to our lives. we
are conditioned and taught from an early age to be obedient to authority,
be it a teacher, police officer or judge.
When we are faced with authority we have a tendency to yield
easier due to conditioning. we accept we are part of a hierarchy and obedience
is present within our social structures.
Throughout time, obedience and power plays have existed.
Take the example of a soldier who has surrendered to the governing authority
who partakes in certain actions, ( which they may not have taken alone ) - when
questioned as to why they carried out certain tasks, the reply will be; "I
was ordered to".
By submitting to authority there is a sense of liberation, a
freeing from responsibility. the culpability lies with the one in authority.
Looking at My submissives, I often see the same euphoric
liberation. Those who come to me as submissives do not do so because they are
weak, lack self worth or have low self esteem. on the contrary, they are usually,
if not always, competitive, assertive, confident and power hungry in their
everyday lives.
They submit because it is invigorating, freeing and
liberating. Submitting makes them feel unchained from the consequences of their
actions - engaging in behaviour which would normally be unthinkable when acting
alone within their 'vanilla' lives becomes excusable and justifiable when
acting under orders.
Submission in BDSM is intoxicatingly blinding - with
obedience comes exhilarating freedom from consequences. Obedience to the
authority is determined within a scene by the legitimacy of the authority
figure. Mistresses are aided in this legitimacy with the aid of 'the scene'
itself - whips, chains, collars, dungeon equipment and the Mistress /
Dominatrix 'uniform'. The visual perception supports the submissives sense of
helplessness, to yield to controlling authority. This perception of the
authority figure increases the submissives feeling of dependency and asserts
the power of the Mistress over them.
Before the start of a session, I will meet and greet My
submissives outside of the 'play' area. At this very moment, we are two
ordinary people - power and authority are irrelevant. As soon as a sessions
begins and the submissive enters the 'play' area, there is a shift in
perception. Aided by the aura and contents of the dungeon, the psychological
effect on the submissive is rapid and intense. there is a clear behavioural
change in the submissive - a nervousness, an eagerness to please and a
desperation to maintain my favour.
The longer a session or the more sessions a submissive
attends, there develops a level of habituation - they become compliant
and familiar to their role as a submissive. feelings of hopelessness and being
controlled become natural and accepted. the submissive feels freed from decision
making process and the responsibility of the consequences. They are free to act
and partake in activities they would never normally participate in.
Post session discussions are essential.
The impact of 'power play' can overpoweringly
impact a submissives sense of self (sub-drop). At its most basic component, sub
drop is the conflict between the sense of self and what a person feels they
ought to be. (Our ideal self is the person we want to be. Our ought self is our
understanding of what others want us to be - what we ought to be and do.) Sub
drop happens when the submissive faces a cognitive dissonance (the excessive
mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more
contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time or is confronted by
new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values ) over
their actions and experiences during the session. A negative reaction is when
the submissive faces the fact that they willingly participated in something
they would not normally have participated in, that they allowed themselves to
be degraded, humiliated, bound, restrained and tortured - events which are
conflicting with their sense of self. Their sense of self is challenged when it
doesn't match up with who they think they ought to be. this can be very depressing
and frightening. It is essential to allow the submissive to re integrate
within their self and break the phase of role play- and this is best done post
session.
Discussing the session, the activities, the role play allows
both parties to break the scene and share feelings, desires sand once again
become two ordinary people.
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