1. Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry that
the vein above His right eye throbs.
2. "Quit it!" "OW, Damnit!" "I’m
hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak
are not safe words.
3. "Oh my God, where did you get those. They are
gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
4. "Ya want fries with that?" "Want me to
drink it for You too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you
an elaborate drink order.
5. Flipping your Master off while your hands are cuffed
behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things.
6. Putting lube, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance
that will sully the ________ of Master on His toys while setting up for a
session is not a good idea.
7. Kicking the toy you hate far under the bed is futile.
Master will only secure your wrist cuffs to your ankle cuffs and make you crawl
for it....repeatedly.
8. "Bite me." is NEVER an intelligent response to
a command.
10. Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing, Grand
Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are
comfortable during a bondage scene.
11. Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while
Master practices His Japanese rope work on you will try His patience
....quickly.
12. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while Master
is discussing your punishment is not wise.
13. There is no such thing as slave immunity, fee slave day,
or the PMS defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge
will override the verdict. Count on it!
14. Pretending Master's collection of butt plugs are toys
and singing the "Weebles Wobble but the won't fall down" song is not
a good idea.
15. Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during
wax play will get you punished.
16. Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh
punishment will only get you more of the same....or worse!
17. "i know You are but what am i?" is not the
appropriate response when called a "raunchy little whore" during
humiliation play.
18. Using spreader bars, paddles, or canes for the fireplace
is not a good plan.
19. "Missed me missed me now ya gotta kiss me!" is
an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
20. When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says He wants to
play, He doesn't mean hide-&-seek...He WILL find you eventually.
21. Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce up
the place is not what your Master had in mind.
22. "Faster faster we need a new Master" is NOT
the song to sing during a scene.
23. "Oh and You think i am?" is an unacceptable
response to hearing your Master say He is not pleased.
24. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious
imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes Master" when ordered
to fetch something.
25. Adding "Sir" or "Master" to
"Fuck that!" will not save you.
26. Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do I Can Do
Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
27. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to
crack your Master up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay....BIG!
28. Arguing whether "Master may not be right, but
Master is never wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you
rewarded with kneeling in the corner of a bed of Lego's "to help you
consider the question in quiet contemplation."
29. Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit???" is
considered a cry for help among submissive suicide prevention workers!
30. Reminding Master you are a switch will not get you out
of trouble for ordering Him around.
31. Rolling your eyes when Sir gives you "That
look" is not a good idea.
and last but least....
32. Even if you are fast enough to close the other bracelet
of the cuffs around his wrist while he's closing the first one on yours, you
probably shouldn't. "
Courtesy of: TGITrouble's Writing 28F brat (Bakersfield,
California)
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hahaha, i loved them - would NEVER do them, but i loved them all the same. thank you for sharing
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